The past year has not been easy for me. First, the breakup with Stephen, which really threw me for a loop, and then the things that are going on with my family. There were times, during the last eight months, when I doubted that I could ever be happy again. I am happy to say, that I AM happy and I am living my life with gusto.
How did I get from “the pit of despair” to where I am now…greeting each day with enthusiasm and feeling so grateful to have the life I have? It was a long journey, fraught with obstacles. It was three steps forward and four steps back. It was learning how to accept all the “bad” things as things that happened because they were necessary in order for me to move forward and live the life I was meant to live.
I have always believed that things happen for a reason. I am also smart enough to know that the reason is not always apparent right away. But, in time, the reasons reveal themselves to us and we can move forward with ease. In the scheme of things, the reasons for the things going on in my life, revealed themselves to me quite quickly. I have, at other times in my life, had to wait for very long periods to figure out the whys and move on. I feel so lucky that this time was easier.
I did not do the healing all by myself, but I did ALL of the WORK to enable me to move on and live my life the way I truly desire. I had help…lots of it. First of all, I read some books that were life changers…I will list them at the end of this blog entry. I talked to people…people I knew would not judge me but would be honest with kindness. I also met with a therapist who helped me realize that I, all by myself, had worked everything out before she and I even began working together. I journaled almost daily. I kept VERY busy, especially during the times when I felt the lowest. I forced myself to be social when I didn’t want to be with people. I reconnected with a very special friend from my past, who has been a huge help in me being able to say goodbye to the past and embrace the present.
I started to focus on healing…my mind, body and spirit. I have been very focused on keeping my body healthy by exercising daily. I am now taking Tai Chi lessons twice a week, walking at least 3 miles a day, doing aquasize weekly as well as doing core and weight exercises. I have reached my “stretch” goal with Weight Watchers and am at an all time low (for the last 40 years anyway). I will be starting weekly yoga with a friend next week. I have also continued to make it a point to learn something new every day. It is NOT a difficult thing to do.
I have been learning how to improve my meditation skills and also working on new breathing techniques. I find this very helpful for dealing with stressful situations, but also, just a great practice for maintaining a calm, blissful demeanour, and it does wonders for keeping my blood pressure under control.
So, that takes care of body and mind. For my spirit, I have had to work a bit harder. Again, books are essential tools for learning how to open yourself up to becoming more spiritual. But I also have invested in some on-line seminars and joined some groups that focus on the more spiritual side of things. I am NOT religious, but I am VERY spiritual. If someone would have told me even 10 years ago that I would become the spiritual being I am now, I would have laughed. But here I am.
I had a bout of bronchitis recently and the doctor told me that sleep was a very important part of my ability to recover. He explicitly said that he meant sleep, NOT bed rest. So, sleep I did! More than I have in years. I also forced myself to have many days where I did NO work and did not leave the confines of my home. During that time, I did some writing (although not a lot). I did a lot of reading, which, sad to say, I have not been doing over the past four years. I caught up on some of the television shows I used to watch and I learned a VERY valuable lesson.
That very valuable lesson is just this…each of us has one person and one person only on whom we can always depend …and that is ourself. If we value ourselves, then we MUST make choices that are to our benefit. We need to say YES to ourselves and learn how to say NO to others. I don’t mean saying no all the time. We all need to put ourselves first when it comes to our daily lives. If we aren’t happy and healthy, then we can’t do our jobs to the best of our abilities. Nor can we take care of our families. We also can’t have healthy, happy relationships with others unless we are healthy and happy with ourselves.
I was burning the candle at both ends…never saying no to projects for my work on the Board or doing favours for friends. I love the work I do for the Board! It makes it very easy to learn new things as the projects are varied and sometimes complex. I must admit that I LOVE being busy…the busier the better. People have accused me of not knowing how to relax and just be. I DO know how to do both those things but had made a conscious choice to stay too busy…probably because I thought it would help me forget about the “problems” in my life. But at the end of the day, literally, I still thought about them…to the point of not being able to sleep.
I have now made a conscious decision to put aside a specified amount of time (as a minimum) every single day to do the things that are important to ME. I have made a commitment to do those things even if it means that I can’t do other things, or if it will cause a project to be delayed. Of course, if the project is time sensitive, then that particular thing will not be put off. I have learned to stop worrying about how things will turn out and instead, surrender to the fact that if it is meant to be, it WILL be.
I can honestly say that I am HAPPY! Very happy! I know that the life I am living is the one I am meant to live. I know my purpose, at least my purpose for NOW. I have worked hard to get to this point but it has been worth every difficult minute!
My advice for you is this: Take care of YOU first and everything else will fall into place!
Books and other Resources I have used on my journey:
- Take The Step: The Bridge Will be There by Grace Cirocco
- Conversations With God Books 1,2, and 3 by Neale Donald Walsch
- Because This Is Your Life…by Chaney Weiner
- Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
- Breaking The Habit Of Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza
- How The Body Knows Its Mind by Sian Bellock
- What If this is Heaven by Anita Moorjani
- The Elegant Life blog hosted by Erin Kurt
- The Elegant Society hosted by Erin Kurt (a Closed Group on Facebook)
- The Art of Living Elegantly by Erin Kurt
- The Elegant Guide to Prosperity by Erin Kurt
- The 6 Phase Visioning Meditation by Erin Kurt
- MindValley a website I found through Facebook which has a Group and also offers many classes
I am sure I am leaving out a few of the resources I have used and if I remember them, I will add them later.